FROM TRIESTE TO THE ARK. (Autobiography.)

HOPE YOU WILL GAIN FROM MY STORY, MAY GOD BLESS ALL WHO READ IT... 

                                                                               TITLE OF MY BOOK 

"From Trieste . . . . .

to the Ark"

  THE NIERO FAMILY

SEE PHOTOS ON THE SLIDESHOWS.

Maureen (my wife - deceased - multiple myeloma - cancer, please pray for all others with cancer.)

Jane (daughter 1) Rachel (daughter 2) Frank (me) Adrian (son 2) Paul (son 1)

+ 12 grandchildren. & mother in law Mavis. 

MY CHILDREN & their PARTNERS - Jane (divorced) 3 kids - Rachel & Stuart 4 kids- Paul and Marlene 0 kids- Adrian and Fiona 5 kids. (+ Hock Chai Guok - (single - 0 kids) - my God son that I love like a real son ( involved -  the ARK projects.) - Malaysian/Chinese.) 

Grandchildren = 1/ Jessica (22) + 2 of her kids Fiona, mother - Levi & Mia our greatgrandchildren. 2/ Jessica (18) - Jane mother 3/ Harley (14) - Rachel mother 4/ Dillon (14) - Fiona mother 5/ Zack (13) - Fiona mother  6/ Aaron (11) - Jane mother  7/ Paige (11) Stuart father  8/ Rick (9) Jane mother  9/ Bianca (2) - Adrian father  10/ Torin (10 months) - Rachel mother 11/ Andre - was born - 31-12-2007 - Adrian father (ages as January 2008.) rachel had another baby boy august this year 2009 his heart operation at birth was successful thank

OUR LOVING GOD!

 " From sunny ITALY to

AUSTRALIA a new WONDERFUL LAND for us ALL."

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PUBLISH PART, OR ALL OF THIS BOOK AT MY APPROVAL - PLEASE CONTACT ME.

MONEY'S FROM MY BOOK GIVEN, BY ME 

TO THE NEEDY!

 Frank Niero - 12 Pecan Court Frankston North - Victoria Australia 3200.

by Frank Niero

(Ferruccio)

FERRUCCIO - SYNONYM = A PIECE OF IRON - (MAN OF IRON)

This book is recommended for persons over

16 years of age.

Distributed by Frank Ferruccio Charles Niero & family. 

12 PECAN COURT FRANKSTON NORTH 3200 VICTORIA AUSTRALIA - (NEAR THE BAY OF MELBOURNE.)

(SUBURB OF MELBOURNE) phone (03)9782 5622 - mob 0401 037 635. ask operator for country code outside Australia.

The Ark Theme park Drawings have copyright,THIS BOOK any moneys deriving from it, donated by frank

THE PRAYER OF JABEZ - (I frank niero pray the prayer of jabez OVER MY LIFE AND THAT OF MY WIFE MAUREEN that has CANCER - FOR HEALING - and all 3 things to bring about succesfully 7 noah's ark theme parks and many ARK Community Centres GLOBALLY - Without too much fuss!!)

His mom didn’t exactly celebrate his birth! She named him pain, or Jabez in Hebrew, a moniker he carried with him the rest of his life. As an adult, and apparently as he was about to enter an important mission, Jabez cries out to God asking for three things which the text (I Chron. 4: 9,10) tells us God granted. These requests were...

(1) that God would bless him by enlarging his territory (pasture), and

(2) that God’s hand would be with him, another way of wanting to experience God’s power and protection, and

(3) that he would be free from pain (also, grief or sorrow.) In other words, he may have been asking to escape this negative reputation which he had from birth!

(plus dear GOD the main reason for "getting from you" is to be "a channel" and give to others in need.) There are many in desperate needs in the GLOBE...LET US FUFILL THOSE NEEDS BY PROVIDING GENUINE HELP, WHAT EVER THOSE NEEDS ARE. (WE ARE YOUR WORKERS DEAR GOD.)

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WHAT GOD PUT INTO MY HEART...

"HE" Made me aware of the GLOBAL GIANTS! Spiritual emptiness, Extreme poverty, which even brings on starvation and homelessness to billions...Then disease, Illiteracy, and much, much more, physical and mental/Spiritual grief brought on, often the cause of bad circumstances and leadership and A LACK OF LOVE BY NEIGHBOURING NATIONS/PEOPLE BETTER OFF... THAT COULD HELP OR HELP FURTHER! 

We can solve these issues, now there are not enough DOCTORS, TEACHERS and MISSIONARIES to solve all issues in the globe. But there is an ARMY of CHRISTIANS sitting in Churches that could be mobilized to do GOOD in our WORLD, and dont get me wrong...most Churches are doing GOOD TODAY and even interlinked with other churches overseas, but our "arms are somewhat tied" - LET'S TURN AN AUDIENCE INTO AN ARMY, AN ARMY OF GOD...

IT IS TIME FOR CHURCHES IN THE WORLD TO BE KNOWN FOR LOVE NOT LEGALISM...

A time for the CHURCH TO REALLY BE THE CHURCH. - To start DOING AND NOT DEBATING.

GOD WANTS A FAMILY AND HE WANTS YOU IN IT...to be a part of that FAMILY (with RESOURCES - and the ARK COMPLEXES WILL PROVIDE RESOURCES...)

THE ARK'S (7 ?) Will be ACCUMMULATORS AND MULTIPLYERS OF GODLY FAMILIES ON FIRE FOR GOD, AND LOVERS OF THEIR NEIGHBOURS...FAMILIES DESTINED FOR GLORY AND HEAVEN...     JESUS is not coming till every person has HEARD what GOD WANTS THAT PERSON TO HEAR...   GOD CARES for every one of US Christian or not he loves US ALL.

The WORLD now is full of poverty, people that live on less than $2 per day and the LOST...    GOD wants US to feed the POOR AND THE STARVING/HOMELESS and to WITNESS to the LOST.

After all, how can we help broken people if we’ve never been broken? How can we help dry wet eyes if we’ve never shed a tear? How can we comfort those who are grieving if we’ve never experienced great grief.

Meeting ‘the Man’ When the woman at the well met Jesus, unlike all the other men she’d met, He addressed her real need. “[He said,] ‘Go…get your husband’… ‘I don’t have a husband,’ the woman replied. Jesus said…‘you have had five husbands, and you aren’t…married to the man you’re living with’” (John 4:16-18 NLT). Because we’re weak, we keep getting into situations that leave us wounded. And those wounds can’t be healed by going from relationship to relationship. After meeting Jesus this woman ran to tell everybody, “Come…meet a Man who told me everything!” (TLB). Her answer wasn’t another man; she’d already tried that! Her answer was meeting the Man, and asking Him to fill the void in her life. The Bible refers to this as putting “on the new self, which is being renewed in…the image of its Creator” (Col 3:10 NIV). If you’re sick of the way you’re living and want to change, remember, the woman at the well couldn’t ‘put off the old man’ till she met the new One. When you’re attached to certain habits and relationships, it’s hard to break free in your own strength. You’ll only be able to disengage when you acknowledge Jesus as Lord of your life. Only by embracing the new will you find strength to say goodbye to the old. So what does all this mean for you? It means coming to Christ as you are, asking Him to save you, and entering into a relationship with Him. James says, “Surrender to God…Resist the devil, and he will run from you” (Jam 4:7 CEV). When you do that, God will give you the strength to forsake those old patterns and begin a new life!

 

 

JESUS WILL TAKE TIME TO TALK TO YOU!

JESUS looked at them and said...

 

"WITH MAN THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE, BUT WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE" Matthew 19:26

 

JESUS ALSO SAID...

 

"EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE FOR HIM WHO BELIEVES"

 

ALSO SHOWING LENNON'S LATEST MOVIE PROMOTION - WAR IS...I WILL LET YOU FILL IN THE REST!  BANG!!###*** (IT IS NOT LOVE!) SEE LENNON'S PICTURE JUST BELOW...

 

 

THE  RAINBOW. PEACE FROM GOD.

Imagine - (sharing! All the WORLD!)
John Lennon Day
An International Holiday
Celebrating Peace And Love (LIKE THE 7 NOAH'S ARK THEME PARKS GLOBALLY & MANY - ARK COMMUNITY AID CENTRES WILL!) 

The heartbeat of humanity is music. Let us honor our greatest singer-songwriter and the most influential political artist of the 20th century with an International holiday celebrating his message for us of peace and love on Earth. I agree that there should be an international holiday every October 9th to celebrate the life's message of John Lennon, to be known as the John Lennon Day. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one, I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will live as one.

This part is for Christians and those wanting to be Christian!

The Great Commission is your commission, and that means you have a critical choice to make: You will be either a world-class Christian or a worldly Christian.

Worldly Christians look to God primarily for personal fulfillment. They are saved, but self-centered. They attend concerts and enrichment seminars, but you’ll rarely find them at a missions conference because they aren’t interested. Their prayers focus on their own needs, blessings, and happiness. It’s a “me-first” faith: How can God make my life more comfortable? They want to use God for their purposes -- instead of being used for his purposes.

World-class Christians, in contrast, know they’re saved to serve and made for a mission. They’re eager to receive a personal assignment and excited about the privilege of being used by God. World-class Christians are the only fully alive people on the planet. Their joy, confidence, and enthusiasm are contagious because they know they’re making a difference. They wake up each morning expecting God to work through them in fresh ways.

Which type of Christian do you want to be?

God invites you to participate in the greatest, largest, most diverse, and most significant cause in history—his kingdom. History is his story. He’s building his family for eternity. Nothing matters more, and nothing will last as long.

From the book of Revelation we know that God’s global mission will be accomplished. Someday the Great Commission will be the Great Completion. In heaven an enormous crowd of people from “every race, tribe, nation, and language” (Revelation 7:9 – CEV) will one day stand before Jesus Christ to worship him. Getting involved as a world-class Christian will allow you to experience a little of what heaven will be like in advance.

When Jesus told his followers to “go everywhere in the world, and tell the Good News to everyone,” that small band of poor, Middle Eastern disciples were overwhelmed. Were they supposed to walk or ride slow animals? That’s all they had for transportation, and there were no ocean-crossing ships, so there were real physical barriers to going to the whole world.

Today we have airplanes, ships, trains, buses, and automobiles. It’s a small world after all, and it’s shrinking daily. You can fly across the ocean in a matter of hours and be home the next day if you need to be. The opportunities for normal, everyday Christians to become involved in short-term international missions are now literally limitless. Every corner of the world is available to you—just ask the travel industry. We have no excuse not to spread the Good News, love and unity and peace.

Now, with the Internet, the world has gotten even smaller. In addition to phones and faxes, any believer with Internet access can personally communicate with people in virtually every country on earth. The whole world is at your fingertips!

Even many remote villages get email, so you can now carry on “e-vangelistic” conversations with people on the other side of the world, without even leaving your home! It’s never been easier in history to fulfill your commission to go to the whole world.

So what?

· Assess yourself -- Based on where you’re at today, how would you assess yourself?

___ My behaviors, thoughts and prayers seem to indicate I want to use God for my own purposes. Wrong!
___ My behaviors, thoughts and prayers seem to indicate I want to be used for God’s purposes. Right!

· Truth Statements -- Check where you agree – all 4 = 100%

1___ I am saved to serve God for his purposes.
2___ I was created to fulfill a mission.
3___ I am making a difference in this world.
4___ The Great Commission is my commission.

· Pray through your unbelief -- If you do not agree with any of the four statements above, ask God to help you in your unbelief.

As for John Lennon, when he was alive, he did his best to promote...peace and love - stop WAR! That is what we all should be doing, some want "to do it their way", personally (I - frank niero) "want to do it GOD'S way!".....

For those 'Christians' who want rid themselves of their sinful nature: when in HEAVEN - not be called Christians any more but CITAZENS OF THE KINGDOM OF GOD - GOD THE FATHER  IS CENTRAL .... JESUS THE ETERNAL KING! THAT SHOULD MAKE EVERYBODY WITH GOD IN THEIR HEART HAPPY - WE WILL BE CITAZENS OF THE KINGDOM OF GOD.

www.hallvworthington.com click on it derived material (GOD - TOTAL UNION WITH GOD)
We must die to self on the missing cross before he can rule us as our true lord. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Gal 5:24. Without having mortified the deeds and habits of the flesh, you have no part of Him; for without holiness, none shall see God. Hebrews 12:14. You were sold the false grace which says do nothing, just continue to live in your sinful nature. You have been cheated of true peace and from knowing that you could live in the Kingdom of Heaven within you, while on earth, which does not come with outward signs and visible display; he has already returned to thousands of believers who produced the fruit of repentance, who purified themselves to get ready for him.

And unto them that look for him, shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation. Heb 9:28

When he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.
Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure. 1 John 3:2-3
For the pure in heart see God; the pure in heart experience the appearance of Christ, his return.

Jesus said: Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord' will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Many will say to me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!' Matthew 7:22-3. Obviously they called him Lord, and they had enough faith that he was the son of God to perform wonderful miracles in his name; but that was not enough - they were evildoers! Jesus is saying that they have not made them their Lord in practice, who controls their lives in their actions and words; he doesn't know them to be his subjects as their ruling Lord. They say Jesus is Lord with their lips, but keep him far removed from their hearts to really be their Lord and King. To make him Lord, he has to first cleanse us of our sinful nature that makes us unruly, incapable of being subject to a Lord or King. Until he cleanses us, we are a slave to sin, incapable of being subject to a Lord or King. Jesus himself said, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. John 8:34. So we have to seek him to purify us by destroying our selfish, unruly, sinful nature; we have to sit quietly so that he, the Light and the Word, can teach us about himself and search our heart to show us our conditions; lead us to repent, and then cleanse us to be governable so he can truly rule us as our King and Lord. My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. John 10:27

Jesus came so he could destroy the the works of the devil in us - if we go to him.
For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, [in us] that he might destroy the works [sin] of the devil. 1 John 3:8

If any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. Rev 3:20. Sitting quietly while thinking on his name is how we learn from Him, get cleansed by Him, be led by Him, and come to know Him. Hearing his voice is not reading the Bible, it is hearing his voice. To hear someone, we have to listen; to listen we have to stop talking, reading, and racing our mind.

For everyone who comes to Me and listens to My words and does them,
He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation upon the rock; securely.. Luke 6:47-48

He is extraordinarily patient toward you, not desiring that any should perish, but that all should turn to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9

Do not fear, you can experience the joy of real fellowship with Christ. I am not recruiting for any sect. I seek no followers; you have no need of any teacher but the anointing which you have received from Him abides in you, and you do not need that anyone teach you; but as the same anointing teaches you concerning all things, 1 John 2:27; Christ in you, the hope of glory. I do not want your money. Everything on this site is free. Nothing is for sale. (Except the - BUSINESS PROPOSAL for the NOAH'S ARK PROJECTS!) - I only want you to know the freedom from the distress of sin. I want you to know that you can be so filled with love, that you go through the rest of you life obsessed with loving others and loving God. You can be full of everlasting joy and peace. You can know the Father. You can become pure in heart and see God. You can have the Kingdom of God and the glorious Christ established in your heart. But, you must pick up you cross daily and crucify your flesh's affections and lusts to be with God. Be of good courage and have faith, for compared to his cross, your burden is light and easy. The cross simply is to go to him. He said, " Take my yoke upon you and learn from me." This is how you learn from him, (you will be taught, shown your condition, and you will receive personalized commands from Him to you):

famous landmark in Trieste - Trieste Cathedral - SAN GIUSTO " WHEN I WAS YOUNG!"

http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trieste click on it for data on TRIESTE, MY O'L HOME  TOWN.

Chapter 1

 This story is for everybody 16 and above. 

My Young Years. AND AN INTRODUCTION.

As were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark, and they were unaware until the flood came and swept them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of Man.

--Matthew 24:37-39.

In the days of Noah, people were evil… pure and simple. They didn’t obey or respect God, and sin saturated society until things became more and more corrupt and God finally said, “Enough!”

 Many people wonder what our world today is coming to. Well, as believers in Christ, we don’t have to wonder, because the Bible tells us that this world is coming to the end and ultimately to God’s judgment.

 Society is becoming so tolerant of sin and evil that it’s become frightening. People live in fear, wondering whether rogue nations will use chemical or nuclear weapons to fulfill violent and evil intentions.

 There doesn’t seem to be a lot of hope as we look out at the world scene. But we need to remember Jesus said that just before He returns, the world will get worse and worse, as it did in the days of Noah. And that's our hope Jesus to return!

 

Noah…did all that God commanded him.

--Genesis 6:22

 

Noah certainly lived a life of faith in the Lord. The earth had never seen rain before, so the idea of water falling from the sky was a ridiculous and silly notion in those days. But that didn’t stop Noah from announcing the fact that God was going to send rain.

 

Noah believed God so much that he built an ark right in the middle in his own front yard. What would you or I do if God commanded us to do something like that? Maybe we would just laugh and say, “Lord, You must be joking.”

 

But as our society moves further and further away from God, we as Christians may find ourselves being called by God to do things that seem pointless to others. That’s when we need to remember that Christ has a bigger and better plan than we do.

 

In Luke 19:13, the Lord says to take care of His business until He comes back. God’s business is establishing His kingdom on earth, and it’s our responsibility to be salt and light in this dark world. These are desperate times of sin and unfaithfulness, and you and I have a message of hope that we are to be spreading like wildfire!

 

The only way to leave a lasting impression for Christ and ultimately change the world is to live a life of complete faith and obedience. That’s something you can do today. And as you are faithful each day, God will use you to do something world-changing!

 

GOD CALLS US TO LIVE A LIFE OF COMPLETE FAITH IN AND OBEDIENCE TO CHRIST.

Jesus is coming back to set things right in this world and redeem those who are His own.

So don’t be afraid of what may lie ahead for this world. God is in control, and nothing can remove His hand from His own!

AS THE WORLD GETS WORSE, WE HAVE THE HOPE OF JESUS’ SOON RETURN.

Here is the beginning of my personal story - and later, what I was guided into by GOD ALLMIGHTY -  the start, first - for families to love each other, then, 2,3rd plan, then the 7 NOAH'S ARK THEME PARKS - GLOBALLY! - AND ARK COMMUNITY AID CENTRES...MANY. 

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I started life as a happy child loved by mum and dad, (born 30 – 10 – 1945, the year that changed the world – remember? the Atomic Bomb’s! 

(potency of atomic bomb destruction is 100 to 1000 times more than the 2 dropped on Japan in 1945! If you take Hiroshima 140,000+ dead one new bomb X 1000 potency = 140,000,000 possible dead - one bomb!!)

THE TECHNOLOGY EXISTS TODAY TO MAKE AN ATOM BOMB 2,500 TIMES THE POTENCY OF THE 1945 ONES!!

  It’s a straightforward fact: the 25,000 nuclear weapons worldwide are one of the gravest, most immediate threats to humankind. The United States and Russia have over 95 percent of the world’s nuclear weapons. Nine countries possess nuclear weapons, and, if the world remains on its current path, more will follow. Eventually, terrorists will get the bomb.

WHEN WILL PEOPLE START TO OBEY THE 6TH COMMANDMENT - YOU SHALL NOT KILL!

http://www.ten-commandments.us click on the 10 Commandments if you dont know them!

GOD TEACHES US TO LOVE HIM AND ALL OTHER PEOPLE - THAT INCLUDES ALL RACES/FAITHS! WE MUST ALSO LOVE, PRESERVE AND VALUE ALL OF GOD'S CREATION!

references of gleaned information and graphic pictures on the web site.

http://tamilnation.org/humanrights/hiroshima.htm  click on it!

http://wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiroshima click on it! Also see - enter - Atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. 

MY STORY...UNFOLDS!

Yes I was born in Trieste Italy on the 30th of October 1945. Being the first born to my parents Spartaco and Lidia Niero, I was baptized Ferruccio Carlo Franco Niero in the Chapel of Trieste's main public hospital, the 2nd day after my birth... (31st of OCTOBER 1945) - Baptized by the Catholic Church that day, to be a Catholic, althow my parents being Catholics in name all their lives, had virtually no religious connection, or practicing with the Catholic Church all the years I knew them (BUT my mother LIDIA was a "HOME" believer and always prayed to SANTA MARIA -"HOLY MARY" mother of GOD......Jesus.) My father always struggled, and was somewhat confused in his belief of GOD. It was also a difficult time for my parents because the Second World War had just ended and food, jobs and other necessities were in short supply then. My father was a radio technician returned from the 2nd world war and my mother worked as a tailorless. At the time of my birth my father was twenty-six and my mother twenty-seven years old.

We lived in the centre of the city of Trieste in a six-storey building where our large apartment was on the first floor. This we shared with the rest of my father's family. There was Ada and Edoardo who were my grandparents, Silva and Georgio my cousins, Their mother had died some years before and 'Nonna' Ada was caring for them, and they were abandoned by their own father. Then there was Uncle Stelio and dad's sister Beatrice. She had a child Giuly just a few weeks after I was born. There was another aunt, Ettorina and Ettore her husband - they had two children Nelli and Walter. We all lived in this old partly run-down, somewhat shabby and cockroach infested huge apartment, sharing one kitchen except for Ettorina who had her own, We coexisted with one toilet and no bathroom. The local public bathhouse provided all those needs or we washed in the kitchen or the laundry which was also the entry to our apartment, off it a small courtyard.

Mum, dad and I, ‘the new baby’, shared one bedroom. This was all we could afford and the Italian Housing Commission had seemingly forgotten about us. As for my mother's family, Ida my grandmother, Erna, Gina and Elda: Two of my aunts never married and Elda's husband was Francesco. My second name was chosen after my grandfather Carlo (Karl) on my mother's side. When my mother was only six years old, after years of illness, her father Karl Wallner an Austrian Jew by birth from Vienna..he decided to end it all - his mental illness led him to jump out of a high storey window to his death, leaving his beloved Ida a widow with four daughters. That tragic day he bellowed out to his wife “CIAO IDA” and dived out the window to his death!

My Aunt Erna was the eldest daughter in the Valneri family (a name change for the family from Wallner). At sixteen whilst working in a cousin's textile shop, in burst a bandit who violently threatened Erna with a gun. This was enough to bring on her first episode and very little was known about her passed on mental illness in those days. Since that time once or twice a year she would lock herself in her room and would be heard to say, 'they're coming to get me'. The ignorance in those days wasted many lives through death and misery. Her attacks would last between 3 to 6 or so months. No medication was available and she had to bear the pain and distortion. Her sisters kept her at home.

On my fourth birthday my father gave me a puppy, a Saint Bernard. As the months passed he grew too large for a small courtyard, my father built a cart big enough for me to be pulled by the dog. Alas, to my displeasure, he was sent to a farm and I never saw him again.

PAGE 1. 

Trieste was full of communists in those days. Our apartment windows faced one of the city's main streets, we could see the Red Flag parade below (we were opposite the main market). One day a Red funeral procession was passing by, and I picked up a large potato that was sitting on the ledge, thoughtlessly threw it, just missing the coffin. People below shouted it came from the first floor window they spotted me ! The commotion ended but not without a reprimand from my mother, which made me feel remorse. But as usual with my mother, all was forgotten by dinnertime. As revenge would have it, we were awakened later that night with the sound of splintering windows, the communists had returned and smashed most of the apartment windows, there was a lesson in it for all of us it really shook all of us up to be targeted in such a way with flying stones etc..

There was another surprise waiting for me: my mother Lidia was going to have another child. In mid-1950 brother Claudio was born. He was fine and healthy and I was happy to have him join the family.

The dampness and cold of the apartment contributed to my mother's asthma which made her extremely ill, causing her to be sent to hospital to undergo a series of major tests which apparently had an adverse effect on her system resulting in a mental breakdown. She was transferred to a mental hospital in Trieste where she remained for many months before returning home with little recovery, and was soon back there for further treatment. This caused another problem. What to do with Claudio and myself. The relations took Claudio and I was sent from home to home, and camps in the mountains and later to Lake De Garda where I learned to live with some unruly children. Life was not easy but you knew it was good to be alive. By this time I was eight years old and my mother received her discharge from hospital.

Mum and dad came to pick me up on their Vespa scooter and when they arrived they saw that I was hobbling. After removing my socks they could see my foot was infected and puss was evident. The infected area covered most of the foot and the camp infirmary drained the poison. A few well-chosen words were exchanged with the management for their obvious neglect, I was glad to leave after many months of being targeted by bullies and unsupervised children that played with filth from an overflowing toilet and cruel jokes played on me and most of the other children I remember it as a camp of horrors.

On returning to Trieste it was discovered my tonsils had swollen so my father arranged a bribe to jump the queue of children at the local hospital. I was whisked into a darkened room, placed in a metal chair, held down by two men, while a third who was the doctor wrenched the infected organ out, with no painkillers of any kind. It was then the practice to shuffle you to another room to spit into a bucket of blood. An orderly told my dad to get me an ice cream and take me home. Younger brother Claudio was to have this done to him some time later. He seemed so young, which made it all the worse. The medical system in Trieste was barbaric to say the least.

After I recovered I was again able to enjoy my family, and although I was only eight, I was to play a part in helping my family to survive. My mother made Disney figurines out of a special cloth material of which her best were Bambi's. They were given as prizes in a lottery in Venice. I sold the lottery tickets to shops and houses and awarded the prizes at a later time. This lasted for a year and my mother returned to hospital. My father lost his job in the English Occupation Forces R.E.M.E. because the Allied soldiers were withdrawing from Italy. Consequently, the food parcels stopped and all of Italy thought it would gloom from then on.

PAGE 2 - CONTINUES NEXT BLOG.PAGE 3.

My father rented an old shop on the outskirts of town (salita di greta Trieste) and renovated the shop to resemble a technicians workshop he spent all he had then to do it....                                                                                                                  At nine I was made his errand boy for half of each day whilst Italy's schooling system operated on a half a day basis. Dad's business was to fail soon after and he was forced to sell. Across the road from the shop there lived a family named Cerne who were befriended by my father who convinced them to board me for quite a few months.

The Cerne's resided on the first floor of this beautiful Italian villa where the grounds were landscaped and well cared for. They were in their fifty's, and their children had since moved away, but they still retained a servant. I slept in the library whose owner was a newspaper editor. They were well off and were good to me. Later that same year a depression came over me a taste of what was to come for me in my adult life. I could not function well was very depressed and lathargic that year the result of years without both of my parents love and attention I thought within! The beginning of my inherited condition - a taste of what was to come for me in my future...and thus I failed my fifth year at the Italian primary school. I left the Cerne's when I was ten; returned home at the same time my mother came back from hospital. Nobody had told me or my brother our mother was mentally ill, it was to be kept a secret for many years. I very often was sent away from place to place, never home with all of my family and this always hurt...

My father wanted to emigrate because of the lack of work in Italy: It was either South America or Australia, the latter of which he moved to within a month of deciding. He borrowed the fare from my mother's sister Gina and said that if things go well he would send for the rest of his immediate family.

My mother wanted me to take my first communion even though they were not religious; it was considered useful to learn about my religion. A priest explained Christmas and Easter and I saw some religious films that also helped in my Christian understanding. I was profoundly changed by what I now understood and became a believer at 11 years of age.

Going back - Aunt Beatrice gave birth to a second daughter Vivian who was about the same age as younger brother Claudio. Giuly was my favourite cousin and we often talked together. Her family could take no more of the shared apartment and moved to new premises elsewhere in Trieste. I was sorry to see them go. My other cousin Silva was a shop window dresser and cousin Georgio was learning to be a technician like dad.

Nellie was a young woman now preoccupied with having a good time, while her brother Walter was continuing to be mischievous. It is amazing how he remained out of ‘reform school’. I always gave him a wide berth when he was naughty!

Favourite Aunt Elda which is short for Eldegarda, who was married to Uncle Francesco lived by themselves and were very kind to me - gave me money for the cinema and were glad to have me on Sundays. They were unable to have their own children and treated me as their own. Aunt Elda would joke that I was like an aristocrat because I would go to a trattoria (a cheap restaurant), by myself, eat, pay and still have some left over to give to the poor beggars either in the trattoria or in the streets.  And I used to haunt the cinemas three and four times a week. But my favourite pastime was books and Disney comics.

Aunt Elda took me to see Venice prior to leaving for Australia. On board the Venice-bound train she related to me how at the age of four whilst accompanying my parents at the cinema, I was apparently bored with the film that was showing and shot out of my seat and yelled at the top of my voice, 'That's enough pictures, now let's go home and kill cockroaches.' The audience roared with laughter.

 PAGE 3.

There wasn't much to see late at night except for a milk bar and a fruit shop that gave us a foretaste of how things were in this country Australia.

Before long we arrived by ship to Melbourne and caught sight of father on the dock - everyone was screaming with joy - passengers became loved ones and we were no different. We re-united after Customs and it was a very happy occasion, and it was great to see him again, and the feeling was obviously mutual. Dad told us we would be staying at a place called North Brighton - our new home in a new country. Willansby Avenue here we come!

The house was an old villa and would be shared with a family of three and later more who turned out to be very friendly. Dad had everything ready for us. Claudio and I had a room to ourselves, with mum and dad in the adjacent room, somewhat larger than ours. They had earned it after all these years.

We were enrolled at St James Catholic School in nearby Gardenvale and walked there each day. About a month after arriving in Melbourne I complained of a massive earache again and the doctor said if I had come any later I would have been totally deaf. The doctor reacted swiftly and correctly and I believe this helped us restore some faith in medicine and man.

St James has a beautiful old church and I prayed there for my parents and brother Claudio, especially thankful that mum was well now and not on any medication.

It took my brother and I one year to learn English, although my parents struggled with it. Mum had little contact with English-speaking people because she was not yet in the workforce or taking English speaking lessons, only referring to a translate manual.

In our garden we grew loads of vegetables, and kept chooks for fresh eggs. The house we rented was owned by a rich Italian. He also owned the property next door which we later moved into. It was much larger and we could sublet and save more money for a block of land that dad had left a deposit on in Airport West.

We were extremely happy with mum, loving her like no other time; also happy she was thriving in this new land. Her cooking too was superb, as was her looking after us a delight. She maintained her fine needlework among other home interests which kept her busy.

Dad's closest friends were Italian: The Del-Balzo family came from Abruzzi and lived a few doors away and loved to keep bees and make home-made wine, a more hospitable people you could not find. Dino and Bruno and their wives from further down the street, who also came from Trieste, became close neighbours and enjoyed the social life with our other friends. As for me, I had one best friend, Steven Stefanich whose hobby was homing pigeons. We hung out together discussing pigeons and another things that interested young teenagers of our age. One day Steven on the way home from school challenged me to a fight to see who was the toughest ..we fought on the grass..I won !

Claudio and I were thrilled with the bikes dad brought home one evening. I now had the mobility to move around Brighton. A couple of weeks on saw me smashed against a laneway fence with a broken arm whilst out riding with Claudio.

PAGE 6. 

Dad took me to hospital and I returned cast and all. When it healed rather than waiting for the doctor, dad insisted on tearing off the cast on my arm, and luckily for me he did not cut my arm - from the initial "power saw" cut - made by my dad. He saved a few pennies in doctors bills but later on the doctor and I were unimpressed at his method of "buzz saw medical treatment".

A few weeks later my father bought our first car, a Standard, green in colour, soft-top and loads of fun we cruised Brighton open top and all feeling like kings with the wind in our faces and a smile from ear to ear, the old standard was rammed by a truck in the rear later on, and we had to scrap our first car.

After two and a half years at St James of which I had to stay back another because of language difficulties, I was enrolled the following year at Brighton Technical School. It was a large school and I thoroughly enjoyed all subjects and their teaching methods. I even received a promotion from 1F to 1B but I was only to spend half a year there.

Dad changed his job and was now at Maples TV Service. He had already built his own TV set and was very proficient in his field. In no time we were to move into our new house at Airport West built especially for us ! The culmination of a life's dream - happy family, full employment, and a house of our own and a company van..pioneer residents but happy ones.

Our triple fronted brick veneer required lots of work to be done on the garden, but that was no bother, because we had what we always wanted, and it felt secure.

Mum continued to keep in touch with the relatives back home in Italy and I changed to Niddrie Technical School and remained in an 'A' form until form 4 when I dropped to 4F because of another year long depressed state - the condition was attacking me again but this time I could not figure out a reason for it...I left after passing form four in 1963 and got better eventually. The Australian Government naturalised me two years previously when I was sixteen. After school I used to help dad with his after hours TV service in a workshop garage we had built, and service calls to the community, I learned about fixing T.V.’S - fit aerials etc.

Dad's mother Ada came out to live with us, following the death of her husband Edoardo some years earlier. She was a jewel of a woman, very kind, so kind I was only too glad to give up my room to move in with Claudio. Ada got homesick after two years and returned to Italy and died later of a heart attack. I cried bitter tears on learning of her death  in Italy- Nonna would always be remembered (remember her story earlier, she was and is always in my heart..) and so would Nelly be, my cousin that died shortly after .

Dad now worked as an instrument technician for TAA and continued our after hours T.V. service. As part of my Australianisation I changed my name from Ferruccio to Frank (my 3rd name Franco).

 It sounded better to me. Nobody could pronounce Ferruccio correctly. When I left school I tried in vain to gain an apprenticeship in instrument making but I was too old having been kept back due to the language problem. All I could get was a job in the Railways as a clerical assistant, selling tickets. It lasted a year and provided me enough money to buy a Ford Anglia car and a second one, a Hillman Minx, at age  eighteen Ownership of cars was to become one of the most marked passions in my life: In my case sometimes it is linked to a Bipolar disorder as I have described in later pages.

In sport I played soccer for Tullamarine as a goal keeper and in the defence and then changed to Aussie Rules to train with Keilor. My main concern was also to shed some weight as well as doing weight-training exercises at home.

Upon leaving the Railways I started with Caterpillar of Australia as a technical clerk. There I gained expertise in machinery and mechanical parts. I was now able to buy car number three, a VW Beetle, even though I borrowed to buy.

It didn't last long before I was up again investing in a new boat with dad, this time a sixteen footer yellow and white in colour, fibreglass speedboat with an outboard, power plenty for water skiing on lakes and rivers. Poor Claudio tried a little too hard with his skiing debut, with the ski launching itself like Saturn five, hitting him badly in the face. That was his first and last attempt at dancing the waves.

Dad was still working for TAA and doing his bit at night in the garage with me assisting, while mum worked in a clothing factory, Lilliput of Moonee Ponds. Her ‘mental illness’ was still in remission; Claudio dad and I still did not know mum was a by polar sufferer.

PAGE 9. - CONTINUES WITH CHAPTER 2. - EARLY MARRIED LIFE.

Here are some pictures of ITALY (18) - for locations see slide show at end of web site...shown are - Venice, Naples - Capri, Vesuvius and 2 of Unity square - IN TRIESTE my old home town.

I welcomed the extra pay that came with a lot of overtime working on structural and mechanical designs for Albion Reid Quarries. Although a new field for me I learned fast and the work was challenging.

Our first child was born on the 3rd of April 1969 at the Sacred Heart Hospital. The nuns were very strict - strict enough to refuse my gift of flowers for my wife. "Take them back," they demanded. We called our son Paul and both baby and mother were doing fine and I was very happy. He was a beautiful baby, full of life. Everyone in the families loved our boy.

It was a fine autumn day when we took Paul home, together, the three of us with a bright future ahead.

After six months on the Albion Reid contract, Art-Plan's manager Rod sent me to W.R. Grace in Fawkner to design and draft machines for their process plant. The work lasted five months and by this time our enlarged family had moved to a rented house in Niddrie. But it was too close to Essendon Airport, in fact in line with the runway. Low flying planes over our roof caused so much noise and shaking we just had to move back to a flat in Thornbury, the baby, Paul was a nervous wreck with the aeroplane noise !

Art-Plan successfully taught me architectural drafting and design from the start and in no time I was working flat out, into the wee hours of the night becoming a workaholic even. Rod also gave me contract work for P.R.A. Petroleum Refineries in Altona as a piping draftsman - this lasted from 1969 until 1976. Maureen was pregnant again to our delight.

The Thornbury flat was drab and I really wanted a house of our own. One day Maureen was sitting in the lounge when suddenly a man appeared behind her. He was going to hit her over the head with a very large heavy glass ashtray. The blow could have killed her but luckily she turned and yelled out stop! She talked to him quietly and calmly and convinced him he should leave - he did so via the front door. When the Police arrived they told of his entry to the flat next door, and fortunately again, nobody was at home. Upshot of the story is that they caught the man a short time later- I zoomed from Altona to the flat at home in record time to be with Maureen then..when it happened but too late..

It was time for a new car, I said to myself, with the Ford Falcon giving me trouble. This time it was to be a new Holden Kingswood from Kevin Dennis Motors. I borrowed heavily and there was little to spend and on top of that, Maureen was expecting our second child. We were still driven by our desire to have our own house.

Claudio had moved out of home in Airport West he seldomly paid board to them, and mum and dad were now alone. My father, Spartaco, said that I could have the boat to sell and this could raise a deposit for a house for Maureen and I. This was overwhelming generosity from my father and I thanked him. Selling a boat on consignment on a boat yard is difficult, but as the weeks passed by and the boat did not sell, my father did a turn about face and said he wanted to keep “his boat”, and that was that!

We had to raise two mortgages for a house we bought in Greenglade Court, North Blackburn. It was a three-bedroom block work veneer, with a functional floor plan. We paid $18,950, which was a lot of money in 1970 - we raised it without my father's help. From then on, my borrowing became excessive. It was as if I was on a continual high both at home and at work.

PAGE 11.

Jane Ann Niero was born on the 18th of October 1970,a beautiful little bundle of joy. Now I was the father of two and a proud one at that. I loved my family deeply.

The part-time work at Art-Plan began to dwindle, so I started a night job as an electronics draughtsman in Box Hill. The pay was low, but the commitments were high - so I persevered with the only option. I was getting up at six to work at P.R.A. Australia, arriving back at 5.20, with a one and a half hour respite with my family, before returning to night duty at Box Hill, from seven to one in the morning. Five hours of sleep a night, working weekends on house plans. I had what seemed an almost inexhaustible supply of energy a workaholic working up to 100 hours a week or more week after week for years!

I bought Maureen a Honda 360 car to ease the work-cycle I was in. She needed to get out and about. Alas, the Honda proved too small, so I bought Maureen a new Torana. To her, money was no problem, because her husband was looking after things, wasn't he? She respected and trusted my decisions.

My mum and dad always interfered with our decisions and caused many arguments between Maureen and I. We wanted to be free of the meddling, but I loved them very much and I could see they wanted more than an active part of our lives - and Maureen didn't like this either.

To improve my business at home I had a very large garage built big enough to house an office and two cars.  Once again this was achieved through borrowed money. I was still mostly high with little thought for our financial future and this was my patterning. I saw little of my wife and children because of work commitments, and this was having a telling effect.

One day whilst Maureen was washing her car she noticed little Paul was missing. She had taken her eye off him for only a moment and he had wandered off. The local Gazette described the disappearance this way: 'Big stir over little boy who strayed [January 1972]. The quick thinking of a family and the vigilance of the Police helped trace a two and a half year old boy who had wandered off from his home in North Blackburn. Little Paul Niero disappeared from his home in Greenglade Court about 4pm on Thursday and wandered into a house in East Doncaster.

"The Box Hill and Blackburn Police who combined their resources and carried out a huge search for the lad, were at their wit's end when the Doncaster family reported his finding three hours later. They said the boy just wandered into their house with his clothes sopping wet. They changed him, dried his clothes and informed the Police. The Police rushed to the house and restored the missing child to his harried parents.

"Paul was sleeping off his 'walkabout' nearly sixteen hours after the event. It had obviously been a big day for him. But how did he spend it? (He must have been kidnapped and then released!). Paul's parents and the Police are perplexed. The distance from North Blackburn to East Doncaster is over a mile, and as the lad is too small to talk clearly, no explanation can be found. The Niero's, however, are more than glad their little boy is safe and wish to express their gratitude to all who helped in the search of their son ..."

Of course, a new one. Shortly afterwards we traded in our GTR Torana for a new Datsun 120Y sedan. This was rather a step back, but we were feeling the pinch. I had to earn 'masses' of money every week just to keep up with the debts. It was a cruel and ever turning spiral that was taking us to the depths.

It was in 1974 that I became interested in solar heating of swimming pools and after successfully building a unit on my own garage roof, to work in my pool below. Within a short time I was designing tailor-made solar pool heaters and installing them with the aid of a plumber, but all to no avail, because, simply, the business was unprofitable.

The love between Maureen and I continued strong and baby number three was on its way.  I stayed home more with the five and three year olds, traded in the Datsun 260C for a Leyland P76, which was a huge mistake quality-wise and financially - one of the biggest lemons I'd ever had. December 24th arrives and my wife gives birth to a baby girl, Rachel. Beautiful and much loved by the family. We were as happy as anything; Rachel was another gift from God we adored her and her sister and brother and thank you GOD...

A little while later I traded in the P76 for a used XJ6, Jaguar and it bit the dust, needing a massive infusion of thousands of dollars to get it going again. The car dealer could not repair it - so argument lost, I went out and bought a new Ford LTD. We sold our place at Greenglade Court and moved to a two-storey house in Ealing Court, Glen Waverley. It had a double garage, three bedrooms, study, an owner-builders pride built into to every corner. Consistent with what we did in the past, we borrowed heavily, combining old debts into bigger loans, whilst we maintained two loans from my father. We took out two loans in 1974, one for $8,000 secured by my father's furniture and one for $30,000 secured by my father's house. My parents agreed to this because they believed that they were getting us out of financial trouble and giving us a new start. The amount is worth at least 8 times that today!

In 1975 TAA, by this time, had retired my father because of his illness - a dementia which was said to be 'incurable, and where his years would be numbered'. This upset my mother so much that she had an episode. She had to be admitted to hospital. I cried so much to know my father's days were numbered, and that for the first time, I learned all about the full details of my mother's type of mental illness -  and getting those two loans secured by them. I felt guilty. What if I couldn't meet the payments? I answered this distressing question by committing myself to working harder; believing everything would be all right.

 Foolishly I left the Refinery job and now was working solely for my own business. Work was thinning out and I had to let go another young staff architect whom I had been teaching project documentation and some design. Mum was better, and she returned home.

The LTD became too expensive to keep, and I sold it to a pig farmer. Shortly afterwards I was to buy a new Holden Monaro, and a caravan for a summer holiday in Alpine Victoria, the family and I were to embark on.

In 1978 I sold the business, or gave it away, to a new owner for the price of the second hand furniture and machines. Fortunately, I received a contract from an architect for the design of a Government building that kept me going for the next four months.  

Mum could not cope at home looking after a husband with a deteriorating condition.         I tried in vain to have my parents stay in an old people's home, but with their special needs this was not possible. I turned to Government social workers who helped me find suitable accommodation.

My wife announced that she was going to have another baby making it our fourth - I was thrilled with this good news and made a celebration. To show my appreciation to Maureen, I traded in her Datsun 120 on a brand new Toyota Cressida Station Wagon. Car eighteen in thirteen years, top of the line model.

Buoyed with the news I opened up a new office in Canterbury Road Surrey Hills. It was a room on the first floor of a building, which housed three architects. The going was slow. We bought two colour TV's, a stereo, an expensive organ that nobody could play and two pedigree chinchilla cats, an Irish setter and an Afghan dog and a number of other things..

Because the drafting/design job was not progressing well, I turned to video productions: Training of which was through a community video enterprise. I targeted architects through direct mail but none at the time were persuaded to take this now commonplace practice of presentation. I purchased video camera, film camera, and 35mm pro. photographic equipment. I made my own architectural tapes, 'Planning to make your future home a success', plus an 'Audio-visual Centre at Glen Waverley, ' both ran for half an hour. This was the beginning of a new interest , something that absorbed nearly all my time and energy.

Our fourth child Adrian was born and that made it two boys and two girls. We were all once again over the moon with joy at the new arrival.

This time I decided to landscape the rear yard of my home and the front yard at my parent’s home. I purchased a trailer, cement mixer, rotary hoe all new and expensive and various other tools to perform 2 jobs. Two weeks of full-time work at my parent’s house, including gates and fences, I had run out of steam to do a 'professional' job on our own.

In October 1978 I video taped 'Camber fest 78' for the Camberwell Council. It went for one and a half-hours and showed the events of the day.

My financial affairs were in a big mess, so I sold the caravan for the payout figure and lost all the landscaping equipment, the stereo, organ, and the Siemens colour TV. Even the Monaro was sent back to the finance company. I bought a small used van and had it sign-written for video productions. I tried to keep my audio-visual business going but there was not enough work to survive.

We tried to sell the house at auction but the bidding was too low and our financiers would not allow sale at that price.

In between time I found a job with the Mars project as a drawing checker. The money was good and the work easy for me. I met two people who belonged to a Christian following, I suppose they could see how down I looked. The fellowship group seemed to have love for one another, respect, faith and so on, which was expressed in their books.

This kick-started my faith again since the time I was a child. The Mars contract ended at Christmas of 1978 and resurrected  my interest in following GOD sparked by these people actually it was the Jehovah witnesses that worked at the Mars project..2 of them.

National Mutual took possession of our house due to arrears in  2  payments. We were forced to rent in Alderford Drive Wantirna.                                                                                        

We gave away the dogs, to the displeasure of our children. Remembering how I lost my dog as a child, I took pains to point out that we would get another dog when finances permitted.

A meeting of creditors placed me in bankruptcy. An accountant wanted his large fee up front which I paid. The video gear etc. and the van were first to go. The parental home had to be auctioned, furnishings sold .... all the foolish borrowings led to my downfall. You are put through so much heartache. How do you compensate for that?

My family  the 6 of us began attending the Catholic church, convinced that it would be good for us all. I became faith filled – a servant of Jesus. I believed I had had a change in character, substance, and that I was now dedicated to God. But the worry of mum and dad convinced me otherwise. I was faltering in my faith. They had found lodgings in a home in Brunswick and mum still had to look after dad - this concerned me greatly even though she said the place suited them, I was worried sick for them and felt as an unworthy follower of GOD because I treated my parents badly.

PAGE 14 - CONTINUED WITH CHAPTER - 3. MY FIRST BY-POLAR ENCOUNTER. PAGE 15. 

HERE ARE SOME PICTURES OF MELBOURNE MY NEW HOME TOWN....IN VICTORIA - AUSTRALIA. See slide show for locations.(18 of melbourne - 1 of frank and grandaughter bianca lidia niero.)

But she couldn't because I was still 'committed' to the hospital. The children seldom visited and once every two weeks, if my wife consented to it, there was weekend leave. It was like another world. Strange to me, because I had become so used to the hospital. The kids seemed to scream so loud. I had forgotten what it was like.. The financial problems would not go away either, nor would the state of my health.. Would I ever be able to share normal family life again? Would I work again? Would Maureen and I be reunited again as it was before? There were too many ifs and buts for any of us to be happy; far too much uncertainty for the future.

Vince, the lad from 'A' ward came to see me and said Tom is still there and that he had been moved close to my dormitory ward. We were not allowed to visit Tom because patients do not have these rights. While we walked around the hospital grounds Vince  explained how he got the gash on his arm through scaling the fence to jump in the swimming pool. I asked him whether his obsession compelled him to be 'baptised again', he made no reply. We exchanged thoughts about the ugliness of the design of the hospital and its surroundings that we found depressive, especially these older ones. The service area looked like a 'monkey's breakfast', I exclaimed. I said if some of these hospitals were given a facelift it would be easier on patients and staff.

The head doctor at the hospital gave Maureen a list of things a family should do for a schizophrenic person - she tore it up because she did not believe the diagnosis, and sadly she thought, each person in this institution is treated as just a number.

Most of my illness was due to wrong medication: Maureen said I moved and talked like a robot. A nun who came to visit me and got quite a fright when she saw the way I looked, very unwell and strange.

Next to our ward they erected a new multi-purpose building where we could attend relaxation classes to music, play games or stage a talk show, just to get us out of ourselves, to put us on the right path again as it were. I gave emotional responses to these processes but it did not get me out of my depression and being ill.

Someone in the wards was pilfering wallets, watches, items of clothing, and other things of value, going undetected until one day a fire in the linen room caused staff to undergo a major search, room to room. The culprit was discovered. He owned up to starting the fire and to stealing the valuables. It reminded me of how an illness such as we shared, displayed its different ways, often to the detriment of those around us.

The chief psychiatrist called a meeting of patients and explained that we need not worry what has happened to us. Some people have only one attack, while others may have attacks now and then, and these can be controlled with medication. What manifestation of schizophrenia we each had and the course it would take would remain unknown for now. This was good news for even though then I believed I had schizophrenia I had this underlying compulsion that things would get better because I loved and missed my family so much and I did not want to ruin their future. I prayed unceasingly, it would go away.

Maureen did not feel safe with me on weekend leave. She had made a bonfire of all my religious books and planning documents. Maureen felt ill at ease with my religious bent, although I meant well. It was difficult to explain to her.

Over the Saturday night she would stay awake watching me. The two older children were afraid too, the others, too young to know. I took my Catholic faith very seriously and each Sunday when I was at the hospital I attended mass. I grew closer to God and he became the most important being in my life, surpassing all other love, yet enabling me to shed this love to everyone else, especially my family.

Life in the hospital was boring. Disputes over who wanted to watch what on TV became the highlight of the evening. Films were also shown once a week. Staff also ran a food and dance night but you needed money and I was always broke. The family came first - and who cares for money when you’re 'funny'!

My roommate Brett had at least temporarily overcome his shakes and had obtained a part-time job. He rode his bike to work and still lived in the hospital. To celebrate his newfound independence, he invited me to play doubles with him against two staffers and I hadn't played for three years since Petroleum Refineries Australia, where I used to skip lunch and opt for the court of 'champions'. The hospital version was no Kooyong spectacle but it was great fun. Brett even supplied a bottle of bitter lemon. We lost but enjoyed the experience.

Maureen fought long and hard to make me a voluntary patient and through sheer determination, won the battle. Even though the doctors considered me too ill to let out, Maureen insisted and took me home. They supplied me with enough medication, wrong or otherwise, and fixed appointments to see the hospital psychiatrist at regular intervals. No aftercare was provided, although staff recommended contacting an organisation called 'GROW'. This was July 1979.

I hugged and thanked Maureen.

The family was very happy to be together again.

There were rough patches ahead, the depression remained. I'd sleep late in the mornings not wanting to get up. Everything seemed an enormity. Anger took hold when I could not perform as a designer and draftsman. Things grated. I could not play with the children or communicate with Maureen. It was a miracle that our marriage held together. Maureen must have been a saint to put up with me..(please forgive me my children and Maureen for the distress caused by my illness I know that for years I was not a good father or husband for Maureen.)

I joined GROW and attended my first meeting in August of seventy-nine, at a church in Boronia. I was just well enough to drive. Meeting leader, Anita and six other people were there that night. I wasn't very talkative but everyone was friendly and tried to help me from the start. They said if it took you a long time to get ill, it will take a long time to get well. Their methods work but you must work on yourself to keep pace. The meetings became a welcoming hand and I went with anticipation.

My next step was to visit my parents: Five 'unending' months without seeing them. They never came to the hospital, and I had been too sick to see them. The burden of losing their house and belongings was always in the back of my mind, leaving me with feelings of guilt and shame. Mum seemed glad to see me and said that dad had been sick during those months I was in hospital. Dad had visibly deteriorated. Dad could only waive his hand, and could not utter a word. I could not be sure he recognised me.

PAGE 23. 

We recalled recent events and rekindled our special relationship. They had forgiven me for everything that had happened - that I did not 'owe a cent'. They were comfortable in their surroundings and a house would have been too much to handle. The illness, they said, made me do all those things. I was told I would always have their love. We talked for hours and I gave them both a big kiss. It was though a huge weight had just been lifted off my back. That is how I remember my mother, as a generous, kind, loving, giving woman, my father could not speak but he loved me with his eyes, I was forgiven…..

With all these wonderful things happening to me, why was I feeling suicidal? While the family was out, I would write a suicide note. Electrocution was the answer. I placed a screwdriver in the power point and gripped the steel shaft tightly ... but I didn't have the guts to flick the switch. Thus, I was even a failure at suicide. Twice more I tried in vain to stab myself in the heart with a butchers knife, but all I could get was a miserable trickle of a few drops of blood. No courage, NO THRUST !!..... I really wanted to live. My family meant too much to me. I recalled, without anger, how my grandfather departed this world and the effect it had on his wife Ida and my mother Lidia. Death sounded too final a word. Not yet! Plus it would be an insult to God because our body is the temple of God and he lives within us. To wilfully destroy that temple surely must be a sin.

Creditors were chasing Maureen for outstanding monies. Only I was bankrupted so they pursued Maureen to get what they could. We had nothing of value, so Maureen declared herself bankrupt. This move helped keep her own sanity, and kept the wolf from the door. These people create an immense pressure, greater than a bullmastiff at his bone.

We let our eleventh wedding anniversary go by. It would have been the glummest. Times were not happy. It took all our effort just to live and a celebration seemed ill timed.

One day whilst travelling to the psychiatric hospital, Maureen was so uptight, she was speeding all the way. Perhaps this was her way venting her frustrations. I asked her in a polite way to slow down - “I'm driving”, she said. Shortly afterwards a Police motorcyclist booked her with an $80 fine - and this I can say was an expensive day for us, benefits and all.

The psychiatrist at the hospital put me on ‘modicate’, which made me feel worse. None of the medications worked, they were aimed at Schizophrenia!

I continued my group sessions with GROW where I was actually growing in confidence and gaining a better understanding of my situation and others around me - the influence of people who really care for each other was very beneficial to me.

The twelve steps of personal growth by GROW are followed as you progress in the group and in life:

1.                  We admitted we were inadequate or maladjusted to life

2.                  We cooperated with help

3.                  We surrendered to the healing power of God

4.                  We made personal inventory and accepted ourselves

5.          We made moral inventory and cleaned out our hearts

6.                  We endured until cured

7.                  We took care and control of our bodies

8.                  We learned to think by reason rather than by feelings and imagination

9.                  We trained our wills to govern our feelings.

10.    We took our responsible and caring place in society.

11.                  We grew daily closer to maturity

12.                  We carried the GROW message to others in need

PAGE 24.

You work your way through the twelve steps week by week and credit yourself for any progress you make. It might take you years to get to the eleventh and twelfth step or you might do it sooner...months, it is all up to you.

These wisdoms have been taken from GROW's Blue Book which has many items of interest to anybody, not just those who are involved in the program. Here is an example of one of these wisdoms which would apply to someone is not coping too well: 'The overall key to mental health' by GROW is a practical formula for mental health and happiness. 'Settle for disorder in lesser things for the sake of order in greater things: And therefore be content to be discontented in many things'. This helped me get through a bad time when I couldn't perform properly even though I had the desire. It is a compromise but one that gives you hope.

Little Adrian, our youngest son, became one in October of 1979. One whole year had passed, a nightmare in our lives. But we had to think positive. And so we had a mild celebration of Adrian's birthday, which made us feel a little better when we blew out that single candle, flickering in the dark. Although Adrian was too young to understand, the other children always brought us cheer. We were a close-knit family.

Little Jane was to be nine in a few days and enquired of me what she would get as a present. Our four year old Rachel said ,'if Jane gets a present I want one too'! I explained to Rachel she would have to wait until the day before Christmas (her birthday) when she'd get two lots of gifts. Paul, our ten-year-old joined in the chorus and said he wanted a new bike for Christmas. All I could say to Paul was to look at us, 'We are barely coping, no promises will be made now, but you can be sure this year you will all have a present ...'

Maureen and I got tired of going to the psychiatric hospital for visits and medication, we found out there was a medical centre nearer to us where psychiatrists accepted bulk billing, because we could not afford to pay for a psychiatrist. There we met psychiatrist Albert Varah who seemed quite competent and wanted to involve both Maureen and I in discussions of treatment. We talked mainly of my depressions and the effect on the family. He changed my medication. We would see him once every two weeks but my condition was not improving and in January of 1980 Dr Varah placed me in a hospital located in Caulfield. I stayed for only a week, mainly for my depression. The short stay was due to it being a private hospital, on a tight budget.

PAGE 25. CONTINUES NEXT BLOG. ON PAGE 26.

In the same month of my partial recovery I obtained a staff job at a joinery company - a fill in job till I got my confidence back. I was selling windows over the phone but I suppose I was still a bit slow and still not well and they sacked me two months later. This was a springboard to contract drafting again because in May 1981 I began working for APC Altona as a piping design draftsman. The old knowledge came flooding back to mind and I remained there for well over a year.

My mother was happy to see me on my once weekly trip to their abode in Brunswick but my father continued to decline. How long could my mother cope when she would not let him go under any circumstances? It was like caring for a big baby. Mum became ill through the stress and refused any suggestions of 'putting dad in a home' by himself.

Everything improved at our home now that I was working. My self-respect returned, Maureen was a lot happier and the kids were responding well with the tension gone. Our landlord sold our rented house in Alderford Drive and we moved to a nearby house in Wantirna. It was slightly smaller although it did have two bathrooms, a study, family and dining room/lounge and in a safe place for the children.

The doctor had me stabilised on medication throughout the now monthly appointments. Maureen attended with me regularly and actually sold our doctor a Persian kitten. She was very involved with cats - two chinchillas, Bianca and Arrabell. Later we bought a collie dog by the name of Duke. Our rented house became our home, one that our children would be happy to live in. Maureen has all our married life has being a housewife only working for 2 years or so…..of the many years but worked hard for our family….this is because she is totally deaf without hearing aids and has difficulty hearing with them also.

I attended GROW once a week and GROW people kept in touch with one another by phone carrying out the 'twelfth step work'. In GROW you don't give your surname - it is an anonymous organisation, non-denominational and open to all. By this time I believed I was close to meeting 'my three vital needs' by GROW definition.

 *  TO BE SOMEONE - unique identity and personal value.

 *  TO BE AT HOME - security and loving harmony.

 *  TO BE GOING SOMEWHERE - purpose and progress.

 And this was partly brought about by:

  'The three basic changes' by GROW

1.       Change of thinking and talk

2.       Change of ways

3.       Change of relationships

PAGE 27.

He warned, though, that it takes up to nine months for lithium to become effective in your system and this was the main controlling medication. In addition, I would have to have regular blood level tests to tell how high the level of lithium was in my blood. Lithium can be a potent poison if not taken correctly and great caution is recommended.

I learned from my doctor, that my illness is caused by a chemical reaction in my brain - which is physical. I am not mad! No cure for manic depression has been developed as yet, so this meant that I had to be on medication for the rest of my life, if I wished to contain the effects. I did and still do. The lithium (I took Priadel) when taken in correct doses, can prevent the illness from occurring, but it will not cure it.

I was very lucky to obtain a job for an engineering company that was working in B.F. Goodrich at the time. Jack Rawlings, the contract engineer, offered me more than I was getting at APC and so I started designing a piping reticulation system for large vessels. They were full of lethal gas and sometimes you had to evacuate the place when the alarm sounded to indicate a leak into the atmosphere. This gas, I was told, could damage your liver. I got along well with everyone.

It must have been the extra money I was earning that caused me to think: 'New car'. Kingswood sold but my name was still 'mud' with the moneylenders. One week later the salesman managed to push it through and I was driving a new van. Why a van? Well, the idea of starting a new business was still afresh in my mind, getting stronger and affecting everything I did. I had so many plans and ideas that I did not know where to start operations. First thing I wanted was to establish a headquarters for the 'Talking Directory'. A large electronics retail store in Boronia was for lease pending sale of its stock. The owner wanted $220 a week and $55,000 for the stock and fittings. It was large enough to take the Talking Directory and there was space for a drafting office.

I did not have the funds to finance the operation so I approached a friend that I knew had the money. He was a draftsman and lived in an impressive residence in Toorak. We talked at length about the venture but he was quick to remind me how I had recently been in a psychiatric hospital. "do you want my wife to evaluate this scheme”, ‘she's an expert at retail and management', he enquired of me. She was not home that evening and my friend turned me down. Undeterred, I advertised for a financial partner and three people replied, two of which were unsuitable, the other who backed out at the end.

'Blow partners', I said. 'I'll do it myself', and applied for office space at Knox Tower. The lease would take two months to process because of a technicality, but we could move in right away and pay rent immediately. And I did. I had about $5,000 from the sale of the Kingswood and this became my working capital.

I submitted plans to the local council to allow me to operate the Talking Directory and a drafting office, they accepted and I placed a partition between the two 'businesses'. Most important was the space allocated for the Talking Directory which would include an interview area, phones etc.

I was still employed at B.F. Goodrich who kept the monies flowing, leaving my venture to another part-time failure. Not enough working capital ruined the whole operation.

PAGE 31.

A couple of days later at about 7pm I received a telephone call from Claudio who sadly had to tell me my mother had died of a massive heart attack. The Home had put a call through to him, just two hours after he had visited with mum. I had not seen her for five days and now she was dead. I could not hold back the tears. They washed down the side of my face and my hands were shaking. Claudio asked whether I would like to be picked up and if I would like to see mum. Claudio admitted breaking down with his wife, and Maureen was tearful also.

Later we arrived in my parent’s room where my mother's body was laid out on a mattress. I gave her a last kiss on the forehead. My brother closed her eyes. We both cried. We arranged for a priest to give her last rights.

Dad was still ill in bed and did not realise what had happened. The next day  he was transferred to a hospital until we could find him a 'specialised home'.

I made all the funeral arrangements and we put our mother to rest in a lawn grave at Springvale. Only family members attended the funeral, friends had 'dropped off' during the years, partly due to what she had to endure with dad. I always pray for mother and I know she is in heaven because a person as good as her could not be in any other place, but with the angels. The death of my mother knocked me for a loop. I always believed in a better life after death and this helped to stabilise me.

 I was not performing well at B.F. Goodrich and the engineer picked this up. He asked everyone to submit to a blood test to see if our livers were okay because of the gas. My test results revealed the medication I was on and the secret was out. He did not sack me immediately but it was in the back of his mind.

It was about this time I was training to be an assistant scout leader. Group participants were very friendly and cooperative. I finally passed the course after this and that camp, and hours of lessons. I remained an assistant because I did not want to take full responsibility of the Wantirna Scout Troop.

Back to my Dad...he settled comfortably in a new 'home' in Brunswick and I brought him a wheelchair because he was having difficulty walking.

I offered him all the love that I had, even though he did not respond in any way that would have confirmed the existence of his son. He spoke to no one. He was still my father and I would look at him and remember all the good times we had, and all his achievements. Human life is not simple. There are many pains along the way  but all that is good and the love you get along the way should never be forgotten and that applies to my mother too.

Claudio and I shared responsibilities to my father - relatives in Trieste were too far away and the two of us wanted to be loyal to him. Always giving him the comfort as best we could.I attended a GROW meeting that week and 'Just for Today' was read.

PAGE 32.

I include this in my story because it expressed what I was feeling:

  Just for Today

  Just for today I will try to live through this day only and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appal me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

  Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, "most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be".

  Just for today I will adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my 'luck' as it comes and fit myself to it.

  Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

  Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out: if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do - just for exercise. I will not show anyone my feelings are hurt: they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

  Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticise not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

  Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

  Just for today I will have a quiet half-hour all by myself and relax. During this half-hour, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.

  Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

  Just for today God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

I must have read Just for Today about fifty times during my life and I never tire of it. It is just as meaningful today as it was the first time I read it.

Doctor Fields was still concerned with my high, the lithium was not bringing it down and I had been on a low dose only.

In an earlier month Maureen had given Dr Fields as a reference to the person wanting to let the electronics store and he called the good doctor wanting to know 'what I was on about'. My wife was trying to stop me from going into another venture that would waste all our money. Simply, the highs were ruining us, financially and in other ways...

PAGE 33 - CONTINUES NEXT BLOG. SEE PAGE 34.

I personally felt better. No more hallucinations or voices confronted me. I was still high, the very reason Dr Fields was keeping me there. I made the most of my time and began attending the local Richmond Catholic Church, St Ignatius, a good walk from my confines. I tried to go each day to pray for my family and mass on Sundays. I would light candles for the living and the dead in my family, touching the statue of the Virgin Mary, hoping my prayers would be heard. (Note: the statues are statues, but I felt the presence of Mary’s and Jesus' spirits with me there.) Jesus always reassures my soul.

I gained a lot of weight because of the change in my metabolism due to the effects of the Lithium. Dr Fields suggested I leave out the desert, but that made little difference.

Barbara was a young lady with a weight problem that would not disappear despite her all-salad meals. She was fond of me, not that I led her on in any way, and one night a 'set-up' was arranged so that the two of us were alone as we were walking - she invited me to make love to her. She said her flat was nearby. I pretended not to hear and walked on, continuing the conversation as if nothing had happened - I was not going to commit adultery, risk my marriage and what I felt for Maureen, over a one night stand! Although bipolar sufferers can become promiscuous, I will not cheat on my wife ! It just takes willpower when the temptation is laid before you, as it were. You cannot take tablets for this condition.

An episode is a physical or chemical deficiency in the brain, it affects your moods and actions and you cannot 'think it away'. GROW also is not a cure-all, but it helps you to recover after an episode or helps you understand when one is coming on. GROW is committed to caring.

PAGE 40.

CONTINUES CHAPTER 7 - BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD. SEE PAGE 41.

It seems to be a law of nature that the normal in any species is a practical ideal, which is embodied in those individuals who have the secret of survival in the ( *evolutionary struggle).

Individuals are more or less normal in proportion as they approach or fall away from its ideal. In short, the normal is the healthy, the mature or the GROWful. Normal behaviour is a winning game in life: Average behaviour is a losing game.

Is the best in life and love and happiness ahead of you or behind you?

In my travels I stopped to see Father John Brown. He knew I was unemployed and that I did architectural drafting. Father John was planning to build a new church and I offered my services for free because I was part of the parish and wanted to help in any way that I could. I had already been designing and documenting a number of churches but this time the church was to be built underground between two school buildings. After surveying and scale-drawing the church, it proved cost prohibitive, so we moved on to scheme number two which would be erected near the existing parish centre on a slope, saving as many trees as possible - half in the ground, half out, with a trafficable roof. This also proved too costly.

On a visit to Dr Fields he said I would settle down with the new dose of medication, but in fact in the previous ten weeks my graph was up and down like a yo-yo. Admittedly the highs were not too high and the lows not too low but the inconsistency was still there. Doctor Fields said that was how my life was going to be because the medication would not take away all the symptoms, rather would smooth out the rough spots, also doing away with the breakdowns. The lesser ups and downs are much greater than the healthy person would contend with, not to mention the mood sings that can unhinge your life.

Bipolar illness is a disorder of mood whereas schizophrenia is a disorder of thought. My study contains some schizophrenic symptoms because they can exist in By-Polar illness - mood changes with thought patterning.

We used the parish centre in Wantirna as the headquarters for our prayer group. Father Brown was very keen on the group and often took part in discussions, sometimes saying mass on special occasions. For many, praying is a spring of life, one way of coming into contact with the Holy Spirit which is the comforter. The spirit helps you everyday of your life, so we believe and this can bring about very worthwhile changes and benefits in your life, through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Back to the new church: Father gave me a few examples of churches in Europe and, 'would I be able to copy one of these?' This is not the way designers usually operate but in this case I made an exception and after many hours of research and layouts, field work, investigation, and design, I came up with a proposal that could be built in three stages to save capital. Father John liked the design and asked a model maker in the church to construct a model of my design.

In the meantime an architect did a layout on a church for the site, which the Father liked also. Father John asked me to redesign this time without the cathedral. So, I set out to design a round church that would be functional and nothing like a cathedral. I spent over two hundred hours for the four designs and now they were all rejected - Father John did not like round churches.

PAGE 42.

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NOTE..! PAGE 42 REFERENCE...*

* Frank does not believe in the theory of "EVOLUTION BY DARWIN."..But "God's WORD.." and the full "CREATION" by GOD HIMSELF..as shown in the BIBLE - OLD TESTAMENT  "GENESIS ACCOUNT"

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The architect's design was the one chosen for the church, my design of the car

In mid 1983 I found a job working for a consulting engineer in P.R.A. My task was to prepare a computer schedule for parts used in the Petroleum Refineries Australia. The work lasted two months but I was having trouble with my weight. Dr Fields said that if I put on any more they would be carrying me about in a trolley. Luckily my weight dropped from 94 kilogram to 87, still high for my height, but more presentable. No matter what diets I tried, I could not get it below this figure. Jenny Craig would not even take me as a member because of the medication I was on. I tried Weight Watchers too, it was also a flop.

After quitting the job at P.R.A. I accepted a contract at a firm of architects to document the Shepparton College of TAFE. One morning as I was crossing St Kilda Road nearby the office, with the green light, a taxi made a right without stopping and hit me, sending me flying in the air, falling heavily on the road. Luckily I only sustained injuries in my hip, leg and left foot. He gave me his business card and two minutes later he was gone. I later took a tram to the hospital for X-rays which revealed no breakages. The damage was extensive with much bruising. The upshot of this story is that the taxi driver skipped the country and it took me eight years to be compensated, with an out of court settlement of $5,000 - for all the pain and suffering over many years.

I switched doctors from Fields back to Varah because of the high cost involved. Dr Varah gave me the same medication and regular blood test. I was stable now and visited the doctor only once a month.

Unfortunately the architect's contract came to an end, capped off by an afternoon of doubles on the tennis courts. My leg was making it difficult for me to continue, so I finished early.

Even the boy scouts were having a Xmas break up at the Scout Hall. It was a dress-up night in which I went as Elvis Presley. The boys really made the night, planning goodies and surprises for the parents, and that ended 1983.

PAGE 43.

In the new year I obtained a job for the South Melbourne Computer Centre of the Department of Housing and Construction. My mood changes made it difficult for me to arrive some days . Most of the time I dragged myself out of bed because I knew I had to. My work place was in Bourke Street which meant I had to take a train ride, leaving me in a constant state of apprehension - I thought that people were staring at me, as if they could see what was wrong with me. This was disturbing to say the least. The job  came to completion and the department was happy with my work over the four months.

My father was deteriorating so much that he was now refusing to eat at times. He lost  too much weight and his bones were beginning to show. He was fed more frequently, kept comfortable, and was bed ridden. This broke my heart.

I prayed dearly for my father but the dementia had beaten him, and I thought it was only a matter of time before he would die too. This put my mind into a state of confusion. But I had help from GROW people and the four stabilising questions:

To cut through an emotional upset, to keep order in a crisis, to think clearly and to come to grips with your problem:

1.  Be definite

Answer the question: What exactly am I troubled about? My father...

2.  Be rational

Answer the question: Is it certain, probable or only possible? Certain...

3.  Be wise

Answer the question: How important is it? Very important...

4.  Be practical

Answer the question: What shall I do about it? Try not to worry...

No one gets out of this world alive

The thing you fear unreasonably is your master

Why single yourself out for especially harsh treatment you cant stop death?

Another bad episode in the Niero family or what my 13 year old daughter Jane in year 7 experienced. Jane riding back home from school one summer's day, she bumped and disloged a wasp's nest from the ground and rode over it with her bicycle wheel, causing a swarm of wasps to attack her all over and inflict a great multitude of stings.

Wasps being all over her and her face - head especially, she rolled on the grass, screaming "HELP ME" - No one came, Jane said...I tried one house but people locked themselfs in afraid of the wasps, then one lady put the hose on me, it did not do much good, so she stripped me to my underware and put me in a hot shower...then she massaged "sting goes" in my hair, but I felt dizzy,the poison was going to my brain! Next I was on the kitchen floor - out of it! Suddenly I felt free from my body, with no pain, and up on the corner of the kitchen ceiling looking down on my body in spirit...and 4 ladies, much disturbed - (the people in the kitchen were 4 ladies now,) and they were screaming..she's dead I cant feel her pulse! Then suddenly I was going up a bright - lit tunnel and up and up,reaching the top - then a female voice, what I thought an Angel "or my grandmother Lidia" (passed on) said to me!  "DO YOU WISH TO PASS TROUGH!! BECAUSE IF YOU DO - YOU SHALL NEVER RETURN" !!    I SAID...NO... I DONT WANT TO ENTER..(I thought to myself my father is ill and I have to help mum and I am too young to die!...) As soon as I SAID THIS! I began to go down the tunnel at 3 times the speed of going up! And back into my body, the one lady was still applying C.P.R. Then with great pain and suffering I awoke, she said you were dead for 2 to 3 minutes and we panicked! Jane said to them, I know I heard and saw the whole event! And  then the lady took me neaby to my home to fully recover, my mother and father were very distressed. Jane is allergic to wasp stings now and the doctor said if she is stung 3 times more it could finish her off the poison is in her system...

Also from aproximately that episode on or earlier (she predicted a young friend's cruel murder even before it happened, etc. etc.) Jane Ann Niero, my daughter has been gifted with the knowledge of angels and can answer things not commonly known about other people...a gift from GOD. 

My son Paul was well over 14 years of age and he had to leave the scouts and he did not want to transfer to the venturers, and so I also resigned as an assistant scout leader. For 18 months we were in the scouts, went to at least nine camps and functions and thoroughly enjoyed it. Scouting teaches discipline and to be prepared.

My next contract was for plant layout design at Fibre makers in Bayswater. Swapping design from architectural to mechanical, to piping to plant design, to electronic, electrical etcetera, was experienced based and like everybody, we are all gifted in some thing's more than others. The project lasted 3 months.

I received a call from my father's nursing home in which the caller said my father was dying. Claudio and I rushed to Brunswick but it was too late. He had died. The nurse showed her displeasure at our comparatively late arrival, but the hour-long distance to travel took its toll and when you are rushing, everything appears to hold you up.

When I saw him with blood on his face, lifeless, the tears flowed down my face. I had always loved him very much. I gave him one last kiss. Claudio made the funeral arrangements, as I had before him, arranged my mother's. We laid our father to rest in a lawn grave in Springvale, with our mother. He suffered no more.

Even though I knew my father was dying, it came as a shock when he finally passed away. I just kept myself busy to keep myself from thinking about him. I gave his wheelchair to the Spastic Society and gave away the few things he had left. I wanted nothing to remind me on how he suffered and died. 

PAGE 45 NEXT BLOG. FOR CONTINUATION PAGE 46. 

7.  Control of feelings is not merely a question of keeping undesirable feelings in, but also of letting desirable feelings flow freely out. For control is regulated spontaneity; and it is possible to have too much regulation or too much spontaneity. Some people are over controlled or under controlled in regard to all feelings. But the commonest form of immaturity is to be under controlled in self-centred feelings [as in habits of crying, anger or resentful silences] and over controlled in more precious  and outreaching feelings [such as love, laughter, praise, compassion, song or prayer].

8.  The more I seek pleasure directly and need to have it, the more it will tend to evade me. For either my anxiety to secure it will upset the naturalness of the behaviour that brings it about, or [through excess or habituation] I will come under the law of diminishing returns and it will take more and more to satisfy me. On the other hand, the more I run away from suffering and need to avoid it, the less it will take to torment me. It is wise, therefore to moderate my increasing capacity for satisfaction by reducing my wants, for then I enjoy things better; and to learn to absorb tensions, discomfort and trouble, for then they don't bother me so much.

9.  There is no way of being simply for feelings or against feelings. Everybody goes by feelings of some kind or other, just as everybody has a particular way of thinking and acting. The whole question is which feelings, and whether my principle of selection is unintelligent and self-centred or wise or loving. Many feelings are negative, blindly reactive and destructive, and deserve only to be suppressed. Positive, personal or constructive feeling is caring. And if I really understand and care for the true values of life, I will always have more important things to care about than how I feel.

10.              To face life we never mainly use or mainly depend on spontaneous feelings, but on reflective and deliberate attitudes which must be well-grounded in known reality. Confidence, for instance, is nor a feeling but an attitude of mind. Not only does it not have to supported by favourable feelings, but it frequently operates effectively in the presence of strong contrary feelings of fear, and, on the other hand, countless lives have been made disjointed and unhappy by ungoverned feelings of confidence. The long term effect of subordinating our natural feelings to our   personal attitudes is that eventually the attitudes and feelings merge into a single team - as a horse that is well-broken in will do almost anything for a good rider. In this way feelings that first had to be servants turn into friends.

PAGE 47.

11.  Growth in mental health means gradually learning the difference between what I feel like and what I really want, and gradually making my chief wants coincide with my own and other's vital needs.

12.  More important than actually feeling good are my grounds for feeling good; and these come from my response to life as a whole. My real grounds for joy, gratitude and hope are always greater than my grounds for sorrow, anger or fear. The complete picture of my life is designed to be beautiful, and my ultimate story, if I choose, will be a happy one - because my life, and even my choosing, are in the care of infinite power, wisdom and love.

Chapter 8 - 1.

And Life Goes On ..

Maureen and I were also members of ARAFEMI, which is Association of Relatives and Friends of the Emotionally and Mentally Ill Victoria Inc. This organisation does a lot of good to people that are ill and need accommodation or support. I feel most strongly for this group. ARAFEMI conducts By-Polar sufferers groups and By-Polar Relatives and Friends groups where you get to share information and events. There is no group method like there is at GROW, but a psychologist leads the meeting usually covering a wide range of issues.

At ARAFEMI Maureen and I met Dawn Malvaso the wife of a By-Polar sufferer and the two ladies became friends and arranged for a dinner at our home and also to meet Dr Lewis Malvaso, her husband. He became an instant family friend with his friendly and charismatic nature. He won over the children with just a few words. The Malvasos did not have children of their own and he told me it was a great pleasure to be talking to our four.

Dr Lewis worked as a scientist and we became very good friends. His wife Dawn is American. He never drives because he says it makes him go into a panic attack, and made him too uptight. His wife was also falling apart because of his By-Polar condition.

A week later Lewis invited us for dinner to show us his museum collection of statues and artefacts that he had collected from all over the world. The specimens were worth a small fortune. The strain in the marriage was most evident by the conversation that took place after dinner. He loved his wife very much but that cruel disease was wedged between them prying them apart and appeared to have taken root to rectify the position. A few month's later the marriage broke apart, with Dawn returning to the States and filing for divorce. Maureen and I were broken hearted but we could do nothing to prevent its happening.

My son Paul was working now after leaving school because of conflicts with teachers. He was keen to work and obtained a position as a storeman.

PAGE 50. 

By this time I had paid off the Datsun Bluebird and by doing so, went a three-year stretch without buying a new car, in addition to the three-year gap when I was a bankrupt. Now I was looking at new cars again, this time a new Ford Falcon Station Wagon. I borrowed for this one, but I cannot understand why, when the Datsun proved a reliable car and was mine - outright. Impulse purchasing made me realise I had not come as far as I thought I had. No effort had been made to get out of our rented house, we were not saving any money, and our income was modest enough to have a few simple luxuries, including supporting a family of six [and several pets].

I went to work for an architect in Deepdene on a Corowa Bowls project which included refurbishments and additions. The job took us to Xmas 1986, capped off by a break-up party at the Swagman. A Restaurant that has now closed for business.

Dr Ken Waters thought that I was stable and likely to stay that way because my medication was agreeing with me and I only had minor twinges such as mood swings and mainly highs to contend with and the lows were minimal. I could always cope when the swings were not too serious.

Lewis sold everything and moved back to Iraq and we are yet to hear from him. Dawn resides in San Francisco.

In 1987 I worked for a hotel building company redesigning hotels to step up their image. It was a labour of money, not of love, for I am a very casual-drinker and I do not even smoke - and a hotel is definitely not my favourite building because they house the pokies.

I was still a member of the prayer group in Wantirna and I had been prayed for many times because of my condition. But this form of healing had not yet worked for me. Not that I am less of a believer in God and his mighty miracles, but I guess the Lord is not ready to heal me yet, if ever. I can accept that. Like one of the apostles I might have to live as I am now, for life. This form of faith healing has had wonderful results with others - so keep up your faith and you or your loved one might be healed one day.

My life at home was as always, routine. I would get up early in the morning, go to work, work is a privilege which I enjoy doing. I take pride in accomplishment and there is not a moment when my mind is idle. When the workday would be over I would come home, kiss Maureen and greet the kids, then go to gym or catch up on some reading, have dinner, later do some part-time work, watch a movie with Maureen, or tend to the children as was necessary. Sounds like the recipe for a normal household, does it not?

That is precisely what bipolar are - normal people - with a debilitating illness.

They like to be treated as 'people'. Some of the most famous people in the world are bipolar sufferers. Great artists, composers, politicians, actors, the list goes on. It is said that about two per cent of the world's population is manic-depressive (Bipolar) and that about one per cent is schizophrenic. The Americans are working on a cure that is investigating the genes and one day it is hoped, that our children will be free of illnesses like Bipolar illness and schizophrenia - thanks to research and science. This is not to say it is too late for those who already have the illness. At meetings most people show they are coping well with their condition, they are not mental loafers but people with a great spirit doing more than most. This is because they want to keep ahead and also because they care about themselves and others around them. They are true fighters, courageous people that want to take their worthwhile place in society and help themselves ‘out’ of their condition.

When the hotels contract concluded I won another position working with the Ministry of Housing and Construction, documenting work on Police Stations, principally a station in Traralgon. The architect was a beautiful person and I always admired her with great respect. Other stations Deborah had done were flair and professionalism, and she was a pleasure to work with.

In early 1988 I traded in my Falcon for a new Holden Commodore to go on a holiday.

PAGE 51. - SEE PAGE 52 TO FOLLOW.

There was Maureen, Rachel, Adrian and myself with the older ones Paul 18 and Jane 17, left at home to look after the animals and the house. We travelled to Ballarat and also took in the sights of Krial Castle, Sovereign Hill, potteries, Hall's Gap, the Little Desert, Horsham, went swimming, fishing, ate at restaurants and overall, had a wonderful time.

On arrival we were disappointed to find out two older ones had a party, leaving everything upside down, a mess we had to clean up. Maureen was sorry she had ever left for a holiday.

Back at the Housing and Construction office I drew other plans for projects involving the Police work on their major headquarters in Melbourne. Everywhere I work I make friends and the Police Design Division of 1987-1988, no less, I shall always remember.

I had been in GROW for nine years now and I wanted a spell to see if I could manage without the help of the group. Those weekly meetings had become very dear to me, but now I wanted to try on my own resources. When you are in GROW you make a lot of friends and I want to leave GROW for now with Friendship [by GROW]:

The love of friends requires something more than ordinary adult love. Friendship is a love of intimate sharing between mature equals.

To basic adult love, friendship adds a common philosophy of life and support and mutual leadership for life as whole. You can love certain people whom you do not like, but a friend is one whom you like and admire and in whose company you are profoundly at home.

The word friend is used for three levels of relationship. There are:

Friends for play or leisure

Friends for work or advantage

Friends for living

Only the last mentioned are friends in the strict and truest sense.

Friendship is not possible without considerable maturity, for friendship is, in fact, shared maturity, and the sign and gauge of one's maturity is precisely one's capacity to be a friend.

In education for life as a whole nothing is more formative than the mutual influence of friends; and among friendships there is none more formative than that of man and woman.

After leaving the Ministry I found a position with a large firm of architects and began helping to document extensions to the Knox City Shopping Centre. I was a member of the architectural five-person design, documentation team for the $100 million project. We also documented an extension for Chadstone Shopping Centre, which was an $80 million project. These and other projects have been invaluable for expanding my architectural design experience.

PAGE 52.

 In 1989 I purchased car number 27, an Astra sedan for Maureen because I had been making lots of money, I began to splurge it again. This was not enough, I also purchased a 1989 Commodore trading in the one year old Commodore. All were on lease finance and I was taking a gamble that my jobs would last. Again, I splurged even further with the acquisition of a new Toyota Celica: Twenty-nine cars in 24 years and most brand new. I was back to the irresponsible style of spending and this should have rung alarm bells for us. By polar illness makes you splurge money etc. because of mood swings...

My daughter Jane was now eighteen and met the future father of her child.

Maureen for the first time since we got married was back at work. Loans and leases were cash hungry to $1,000 per week and Maureen's income would help. She worked for a door knob manufacturer, was capable at her job and enjoyed driving the cars. Maureen, however, had been developing a disability for the past few years - mainly because of the 'big' worry of my condition it had caused her to have nerve and other deafness and she was on her second set of hearing aids, without which she would be nearly totally deaf. Not only the bipolar suffers, the illness drags in those around you.

In early eighty-nine I worked for the Met delegating for an architect until February of 1990 when Government pressure to downsize caused my discontinuation. When you are a contractor you feel like a gipsy because you move around a lot, and leave behind very good workmates. Good for experience, not for putting down roots.

On the 16th of July little Jessica was born to Jane and Rod. We were now officially grandparents. The baby remained in a life support crib for ten days but regained her constitution to come home to as comfortable surroundings as was possible. Rod was thrilled with the new arrival and had participated in the birth.

PAGE 53. END OF CHAPTER 8.

Chapter 9

Spirits And People

In January of 1990 Jane talked Maureen into going to a clairvoyant. This lady had a very good reputation as a medium. I know it is against my faith, but I went along too after all this lady was a catholic! She explained that this was not a defined reading but a probability to work on to see what's recorded on the 'two sides of the coin'.

Here is the reading for Maureen: Dont take this seriously please....

The reading 1990  Verification 1992 for Maureen.

1.  Good at doing a course  (Not yet)

2.  Will do volunteer work  (Not yet)

3.  You are the Rock - can bear more of the brunt  (Yes)

4.  Set in her ways  (Yes)

5.  Could have a 5th pregnancy  (Too late)

6.  Compatible to Frank  (Yes)

7.  Need therapy for relatives of bipolar  (Yes has done it)

8.  Change job and work for the Government  (Not yet)

Score for Maureen  Four - Yes; Three - Not Yet; One - No

Here is the reading for me (Frank) dont take this seriously !!

The reading 1990  Verification later for Frank.

1.  Very emotional  (Yes)

2.  Want to save the world  (Yes but through Jesus Christ our Lord,)

3.  Very conscientious  (Yes)

4.  Workaholic, don't know how to switch off  (Yes)

5.  Very talented, nearly a genius [but need's a break]  (Wife says yes)

6.  Live on tightrope  (Yes always)

7.  Low resistance to stress  (Yes and no)

8.  Given away talent  (Yes)

9.  Inferiority complex  (Yes once not now.)

10.  Who used to complement me as a child? Nobody!  (Yes)

11.  I want to be comfortable not rich  (Yes)

12.  Frightened of own power  (Yes sometimes)

13.  Know that your going to be successful  (Yes)

14.  Worried about things that happened in the past - but I had to have the experience  (Yes)

15.  Improve with age, experience and wisdom  (Yes)

16.  Lovely family  (Yes)

 PAGE 54. 

17.  Brain operation (Not yet) – Brain scan later – operation deferred BY WIFE.

18.  Nearly died in car accident (VW), angel sent back  (Yes)

19.  We will see Italy  (Not yet - again)

20.  Proposal for change of residence  (Yes)

21.  Victory, more work, do not undersell  (Yes)

22.  Moods disrupt household, move off alone and relax  (Yes)

23.  Phone call contract apartments  (much later)

24.  Staff job offered  (Yes later)

25.  You will say no to contract job in Sydney (Yes)

26.  We are going to live by water before Xmas 1990  (No - in 1994)

27.  My aura looks okay  (I can't see it)

28.  I've got to watch my weight, not fat, but with a spare tyre  (Yes)

29.  Not out of work longer than one to two weeks  False (No)

30.  Win lottery, luck of the draw (3 million approx).  (No winnings!for frank..) 

  Move interstate or warmer climate after  (Not yet – if ever)

31.  Mother (My mother) has come through to say 'Hi', she's with the angels  (Yes) – If it can be   believed! but I believe that demons impersonated her then..!

32.  Materialistic losses will eventuate  (Yes at least 4 times)

33.  I will have young man working around me,

  very talented. Teaching him how to express and design.  (Not yet) had before reading...

34.  Ambition to buy a home (it will come)  (Not yet)

35.  Friend from overseas steers us in the right direction  (Not yet)

36.  Possibility of another job  (Short lived)..then..

37.  We will not declare bankruptcy  No (We did)

Score for Frank  25 - Yes; 7 - Not yet; 2 - No; One - I don't know (aura) I don't believe in readings, only example...of the riggamarole you get.

The clairvoyant said we opened up so she can go 'in us' at a soul level. The medium did not know us before, yet her accuracy is remarkable with very few 'no's' and the 'not yet' could happen in the near or distant future, so she said. Do spirits guide clairvoyants? Is this in line with Christianity? I don’t think so. So I am sorry I ever went. this is all in line with the "ACCULT" my friends.(I was ignorant of this fact then..)

On completion of the Met job I did a couple of residential jobs plus a Police Station. Work ended in 1990 and the recession hit full time and contract work.

Maureen admitted to me that she, Jane, Rachel and Rod, conducted a séance back in 1989 and had contacted my mother, Lidia. My mother spelled out that I was in for a big win in the lottery and that she was happy in the place where she was staying. Maureen and the others kept this secret from me until the reading in 1990 when the medium said 'my mother has come through to say hi .' I did not win in any lottery !!!

PAGE 55.

Jane had introduced séances to our house after being taught by a 'professional' in the art. Jane would do sneak séances with her brother and sister and I knew nothing about them. Later she included my mother and the rest of the family (now she is sorry). Now that I knew that my mother could be contacted I went against my principles.

 To our demize then....We held a séance with the rest of the family, except for Paul and Adrian. That night I was astounded with contact from my mother. She sent her love. I thought it was her because I asked her certain questions that only we knew together - a correct reply was given to all questions. The reply was spelled out. She said that dad was okay and both were living in a beautiful place and wanted for nothing. Also, I was told, I would be winning the lottery!

Next, I contacted my father (who was glad to be communicating after all this time) - he too was happy and answered personal questions correctly. To me then this was proof that all after-life exists and that we can communicate with the dead. Unless a devil’s bluff!. I had one more contact with mum and dad about a month later. Then I tried regularly about five more times without success. I was doing it too much I know it was wrong, but I do know I still love them and I believed at the time they have so much wonderful knowledge to impart? Spirits claim they can read your mind and watch you sometimes and the Bible is against that sort of thing, but why do the spirits try to contact us? Are we really sinners by going to a clairvoyant or holding a séance? YES WE ARE!! I have asked for forgiveness of GOD and I have been warned that these practices can be dangerous and have since ceased making contact. Possession by bad spirits is a potential danger . . . it has happened to my daughter Rachel for 2 minutes or so, she was momentarily changed and displayed a different character,  then it left her!! So DON’T FOOL AROUND WITH IT, it is very dangerous….my ignorance of those experiences THEN!!, they offend  GOD ! I learned later….you are actually communicating with demons that impersonate loved ones….don't need that! NOBODY NEEDS THAT!!!

Jane and Rod moved to another place. Rod’s true nature surfaced one night when he had a psychiatric attack, using a knife he slashed Jane's finger, cutting the tendon. She said he acted like a 'raving lunatic'. Frightened half to death, she had to have an operation to mend her finger. She returned to live at our home. She was even going to lay charges against him for the attack but later recanted. She forgave him and went back to their house.

Rod had fits of anger and was a heavy drinker. I was worried sick for Jane and young Jessica. They were not even married yet and the problems were enormous.

Rachel met Beau and fell in love at a tender age. Maureen and I could not keep them apart and Rachel threatened to leave home. Beau was only three years her senior and we were forced to recognise that puppy love could be real love. Rachel was working and had a degree of responsibility.

Because of our unemployment we were forced to return the Astra, the Commodore and the Celica to the finance companies. We had to declare bankruptcy in both our names. The recession, the bill's and the borrowed finance made it impossible to continue as we were.

In February of 1991 Rachel and Beau held their engagement party at a hall in Bayswater. Friends and family on both sides turned up. The night was a success at the time...

The strife continued between Rod and Jane and she finally decided to take Jessica and return to the family home. I bought a caravan to house them.

PAGE 56.

Paul left and returned home again - cars and girls were uppermost in his mind and he had trouble with money and buying new cars.

Twelve cars at 22 attest to his being like me somewhat.

My son Adrian likes karate, gym work, body building, motor bikes, computers. He is a very loving boy, but a boy he is. He does not hide his rough spots but he is slowly learning and improving - we love all our children very much.

Paul became engaged to Marlene in 1994. She is a nice and is preparing for the future. They married later in 1997. Rachel was expecting a baby years after the engagement and Beau was keen to become a father. She was not wanting to marry yet because we, the parents, could not afford her dream $20,000 wedding. Rachel was eighteen and made a wonderful mother.

I believe dreams are sometimes inhabited by spirits. We are our soul, which is a mind, will and emotions within our earthly bodies. Sometimes when we sleep our spirit is somehow connected with good or bad spirits. Our spirit sometimes can leave the body (this is known as astral travel or projection and can be dangerous). A ten thousand-kilometre voyage can take a second! So it is generally believed.

I know that I am going against my religion by describing this, however, beings from the spirit world have revealed themselves to me. These have been:

Good spirits  Spirit of God and all who have been chosen to promote love   and happiness and good knowledge see the new & old testament (Bible)

Bad spirits  That of the devil, evil creatures, beings that want to darken   your soul ... TO PREVENT THEM...put on the ARMOUR OF GOD see

                             the Christian Bible Ephesians 6:10 to 18...

Do we choose which spirits or do they choose us?

I believe that spirits from the other world have in the past caused my 'voices' and hallucinations. This may be bad spirits giving you information or a warning or just music. This can be as dramatic as you have read in this book - or as dramatic as your worst nightmare. Who or what is it that puts all that stuff' into your brain?  It cant be just physical and by electrical and chemical reactions, but by the spirit, the mind the will and especially the EMOTIONS can play a big part in your undoing sometimes. Or your emotional trigger can bring you undone and cause you to have a breakdown...if you dont WATCH IT! YOU CAN CONTROLL YOUR FEELINGS ! 

PAGE 57.END OF CHAPTER 9. SEE PAGE 58.